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A graduate of Sports Studies at Paisley University, which is about as rewarding as being the best dancer in the Spinal Unit.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Racism: Unpopular

Many of you were probably wondering why the Worcester Wolves arrived on the 29th of November fielding a team of children. Details of what had transpired days earlier were sketchy and there were rumours abound as to why pretty much the entire team had been sacked and the coach had resigned. The Rocks took almost full advantage of the bizarre and (as far as my knowledge stretches) unprecedented situation by beating the Wolves by 50 plus, even showing a sporting display in the fourth by allowing the shot clock to expire twice.
According to the Worcester News, at a post match video session Head Coach Chuck Evans spent a couple hours berating players on their performances “using comments that were seen to be of a racist nature”. In response to this, the players then took steps of a striking nature which then led to the coach exiting in a resigning nature. As a result, the management terminated the contracts of Evaldas Zabas, Vidmantis Uzukurailitis, Nerijus Karlikanovas, (no, im not just mashing the keyboard with my fist), Chey Christie, Skouson Harker and ex-Rock Randy “Chino” George. Mercifully, the BBL have granted a few postponements to several of the Worcester fixture as new coach Paul James takes charge.
"It's a challenge that I am glad to take on as the club officials clearly have a passion for the game," he told BBC Hereford & Worcester.
"The foundations are there to be one of the big runners in the league."
James has the pedigree needed to turn around the Wolves' fortunes having formerly coached the England squad at all levels and also enjoyed highly successful spells with Bracknell Tigers and Guildford Heat.
No one really knows what to make of this outside of the Wolves current and former circle. Its utterly bizarre on every level and you can’t help feel for the individuals involved. Essentially, their livelihoods and security have been cut short as a result of (allegedly) the fallout of one person’s verbal outburst. More importantly, it’s not really in keeping with the tone of this column, so here’s a picture of a dog wearing a festive hat. LOOK AT HIS WEE FACE!

Further scandal this week as No1 Magazine’s search for a Scottish man Without Translucent Skin and a Gut came to a dramatic end. NONE of the Scottish Rocks made the cut, even the one that entered. Instead judges took “much deliberation” after “a few turns on the catwalk” (stringent, these competitions. Ability to walk: Check.) they finally decided on Gavin McDonald, Lumberjack (Yes, really) and rugby player (he also lion-tames on the weekend, im sure).
According to No1 Magazine’s website, “He will receive £500 worth of Slaters vouchers, a luxury trip to New York, A modeling contract with Colours, the title of No.1 Hunk and Mr Scotland as well as a photoshoot with No.1 magazine.”
Shortly after being announced as the victor, Gavin said, “It's amazing. I'm so excited."

Ironically for a lumberjack, he was effortlessly upstaged in his first official photo since winning the competition by a flamboyantly dressed tree that ran into shot.
Swings and Roundabouts, eh Gav?

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