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A graduate of Sports Studies at Paisley University, which is about as rewarding as being the best dancer in the Spinal Unit.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010


 Not featuring Michael Jordan. Deal with it.

If you're anything like me, you were once the kingpin of a highly profitable Lativian prostitution racket and are also big fans of dunking.

I spent most of my early life cursing God for bestowing me with not only chicken legs, but also an overwhelming, crippling laziness. Faced with both of these obstacles, I couldn't even be bothered filling in the form to send away for Jumpsoles (tm).

Regardless, dunking is an enviable ability. Its also something spectacular enough to have transcended sports and filtered its way down to your gran. She may be trying to change the channel on the mirror but she is still familiar with the term, "slam-dunk".

So without further ado, here's my opinion of the best of all time. The All-Star dunk contest features a dream team of nobodies every year who are able to swing the ball about in attempt to illicit a response from the typically zombie crowd. Sure, they can jump, but the guys below have led thier respective generations by quite literally being freaks of nature.

First up and in no particular order:

1. Shawn Kemp

Before Shawn got traded by the Seattle Supersonics and discovered the bakery, this 6,11" forward looked like an extra from Avatar.

2. Dominque Wilkins

'The Human Highlight Film' was 6,8" and had springs for legs. He spent most of the 80's dunking on everyone (look out for one where he almost kills Larry Bird) before being traded to the Clippers and to his credit, not slipping into drink, drugs and self-mutilation.

3. Vince Carter

'Vinsanity' or at one point, the depressing, budget flight sounding, 'Air Canada'. When Carter arrived in the league with fresh legs and before anybody discovered his playoff disappearing act, he was beyond comparsion.

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