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A graduate of Sports Studies at Paisley University, which is about as rewarding as being the best dancer in the Spinal Unit.

Thursday, 13 January 2011


Much of this week’s buzz has been that former Rocks player, Chi Lewis-Parry was a contestant on dating show, “Take Me Out”. (Full title: "Take Me Out To The Garden And Finish Me Off With Your Shoe, I'm A Fucking Disgrace".)
If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, here’s some official blurb from the website:
“Matchmaker Paddy McGuinness is here to fix up a host of sexy single ladies from across the UK in the hope of finding a match made in heaven. Each week, four brave bachelor boys will have to impress Paddy's flirty thirty to try and bag themselves a date. But if the girls don't like what they see then the boys face a black out and a trip back home alone.”

Basically, it’s this generation’s version of Blind Date. Whereas before the individual would base their decision not on looks, but on their intellectual responses to three personally tailored questions, Take Me Out throws men out to a baying crowd of barely functional creatures masquerading as “the opposite sex” all desperately looking for some sort of relationship past that of their psychotherapists.
Many women keep their lights on until they hear some sort of flicker of humanity in the potential suitors’ personality and the light goes off, meaning that they roll over to the next week like a depressing, handicap-centric national lottery. The smell of desperation in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife, if you hadn’t been already using it to self-harm.
Anyway, Chi was on it, right?
CLP has been keeping himself busy since leaving the Rocks, not least surprising me on the toilet (not for the first time) when his face peered back at me in a Sony Bravia magazine advert. He has been acting a little bit as well as modelling, while getting back into mixed martial arts in a big way.
His latest TV exposure did us all proud. From his arrival on the stage he managed to keep all of the thirty lights on, impress the crowd with a dunk and prove himself to be a true humanitarian: His choice was a Glaswegian girl who looked like the only thing she has ever been accompanied with was a fixed-ankle tracking braclet.
Thanks Chi. I think we all learned a thing or two about what it takes to be a good person.

Highlights from the show:


The Black Chapters

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Anonymous said...

you can now view Chi on Take Me Out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcNWQtzLYQ&list=UUKdOc7s0BxwDyACDcCZ5KRA&index=1&feature=plcp

Anonymous said...

or this link even haha